My first experience of deep peace
I love surprises.
Tell me who doesn’t? Surprises are
always sweet. When we yearn for
something and when we finally get it, it feels amazing. It feels like an achievement and sometimes, a
big relief. The excitement of getting
something for which you have waited for long is wonderful. However, when we get something which we have
never even thought about or ever sought, it’s a blessing. It turns out to be a beautiful surprise and
hence sweet.
I am here to write
about one such beautiful experience, which I had never sought nor understood it’s
meaning. At a time, when I was still young
by age, at a time when life was a flow, at a time when all my needs were being
take care of by someone, at a time when the mind was free from anxieties and
questions, at a time when the mind kept bubbling to achieve success, at a time
when there were no big responsibilities and the heart was happy and joyful, to
experience something right, without even knowing what it meant, was indeed a
blessing. That something is the deep
state of peace, which I experienced for the first time, in the quietitude of the
serene environment of Sri Aurobindo Ashram at Pondicherry.
It happened in
the late 90s or the early 2000s, when I and my friend, Latha had visited the Ashram
as a day trip from Chennai, probably our first longest trip, all alone. People who have visited the Ashram would be
able to visualise by now. To those who haven’t, you feel suddenly engulfed by
silence from the hustle and bustle of the city outside. The beauty of the colourful flowers, decorating
the Samadhi keep your eyes glued. The
queue of visitors moving so gracefully and calmly, without any hurry teaches you
discipline. When we finally went around
the samadhi and found a place to sit and closed our eyes, in few moments, the
surprise happened.
We had our
first experience of peace, to each of us our own, which was so deep. It was a new feeling of calm, which I had
never experienced before. A deep
thoughtless state, with only silence as the companion, both within and without. A state of inexplicable joy and happiness, which
was very different from the usual state of happiness, which we experience. It was so deep, that as I write about it now,
after more than 2 decades, I feel the same state of calm within. Yet the virginity of that experience was much
different from what I experience now. Probably
that’s why the first experience of anything is always special.
After so many
years, with so many changes all over, I don’t know how the Ashram environment
is maintained now. Even if it is the
same, I don’t know if I will be able to have the same experience, if I visit
now. However, memory has this beautiful
capacity to replay and relive such cherished experiences time and again in our
mind. It was indeed my debut experience with deep peace, which will remain
etched in my memory forever.

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